Skills
Making the decision to be healthy is the first step. Moving to the next step requires learning some skills. Setting boundaries is the first thing you can do to protect yourself and stay healthy. It empowers you to make good decisions ahead of time when they have the most benefit to you.
Here are three ways you can put boundaries into place:
Places:
Have you ever heard the advertising phrase. “Location, Location, Location?” Where you choose to go with your dates or simply hang out with members of the opposite sex can be very important
It is best to plan ahead. You are less likely to end up bored, but more importantly, you stay in control.
Ideally, choose locations that include other people. Go out with friends in groups. Even one-on-one time should be in a public place, such as a restaurant, on a beach, a park, etc. This has two benefits
It reduces temptation. You are a lot less likely to do things that you will regret when other people might see you.
You have protection in case the person you are with tries to pressure or hurt you.
Physical Limits:
It is best to decide ahead of time on your physical limits when expressing affection. If you wait until the moment, you will likely end up going further than planned.
Use physical touch to express affection, but not to arouse. Arousal prepares your body and mind for sex, and it will be harder to resist temptation or to think clearly in that state.
It is best to apply the brakes a good deal short of your actual limit. If you wait until you have reached the edge, you are more likely to go too far where one misstep leads you to fall into temptation.
Peer Pressure:
Everyone is vulnerable to peer pressure. Those who have a plan are more likely to be successful standing against it.
Decide ahead of time who you are and what you want to be. What are your goals, and what are the behaviors that you want to avoid which compromise any of those? Make a firm decision not to let your friends talk you into violating your high standards.